This too has a purpose: The art of seeing opportunity in the heart of tragedy.

Written by Vahid Zekavati

Copyright: NLP Radio

Introduction:

Once upon a time, in a distant land, a king lived who prided himself on his power and wealth. He attained whatever he desired, but he had a wise minister who, whenever a misfortune befell the king, would smile and say, “This too has a purpose, O King.” This phrase was repeated over and over until one day the king went hunting and an errant arrow cut off his finger. Blood dripped from the wound, and the king writhed in pain. The minister calmly looked at him and, with his usual tone, said again, “This too has a purpose.” This time, the king lost his patience and angrily shouted, “What purpose is there in this pain and suffering?” He ordered the minister to be thrown into prison to taste the bitter flavor of solitude.

Days passed, and the king went hunting alone. He got lost deep in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by a wild, cannibalistic tribe. They captured the king and prepared him to be sacrificed to their gods. When they placed the king on the altar, the tribal chief looked at him and noticed his missing finger. Among that tribe, it was the custom for the sacrifice to be completely sound and without any flaws. They released the king in anger and dissatisfaction and drove him out of their territory. The king, who had been saved from certain death, returned to the city and quickly went to see his imprisoned minister. With tear-filled and shameful eyes, he knelt before the minister and said, “You were right, O Minister, the cutting off of my finger had a purpose and saved my life.” The minister smiled and replied, “Of course it did, O King. But the greater purpose was that you also threw me in prison, for if I had been with you, then I would have been whole and would have been sacrificed.”

This story is not just a simple tale, but a mirror of our human lives. Each of us, along our life’s journey, faces pains, failures, and misfortunes that may be impossible for us to comprehend at that very moment. Such events anger us, disappoint us, and sometimes even make us weary of ourselves and the world around us. But have you ever considered that perhaps these sufferings have only shown us one side of the coin? Perhaps within every challenge, there is a hidden gift, an invisible purpose that only becomes clear with the passage of time and with a deeper perspective.

This book is about that very purpose. It is about the art of seeing the hidden side of suffering and understanding the truth that sometimes the greatest pains can save us from the greatest calamities. This book is written for those who are searching for a deeper meaning behind the events of their lives. We will not show you how to completely eliminate problems, but together, we will learn how to live with them, how to change our perspective, and how to build a bridge for growth from every obstacle. This path is a journey to finding inner peace and reconciling with destiny, a voyage from anger and despair toward acceptance and wisdom.

Chapter One: Why do our emotions go out of control during unfortunate events?

In every human’s life, there are moments when everything falls apart, just like the day the king lost his finger. In that moment, anger and despair rose within him like a storm. Perhaps you have experienced this feeling: a moment when you hear bad news, experience a financial setback, or a significant relationship ends. At that point, our logical mind ceases to function, and we are left to the mercy of our emotions. We might try to control the situation, but the more we struggle, the deeper we sink into the quicksand of despair. Our first reaction is usually denial. We refuse to believe such an event has happened, or we try to convince ourselves that things are not that bad. This temporary denial might reduce the pain, but in the long run, it prevents growth and improvement because you are not confronting what is.

The truth is that when an unfortunate event occurs, our brain goes into a survival mode. Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are released, and we enter a “fight or flight” state. In this state, the logical parts of our brain responsible for good decision-making become less active, and we react more based on emotions. This is why the king directed his anger toward his minister and not toward the arrow that cut off his finger. He was looking for a scapegoat, an outlet for his intense emotions. This is a completely natural human reaction, but understanding this process can help us avoid making rash and damaging decisions.

One of our biggest mistakes is trying to suppress negative emotions. We tell ourselves to “be strong” or “get a grip.” But emotions are like a river; if you block their flow, pressure builds up behind the dam and eventually breaks through with greater force. This suppression can manifest in various ways, from emotional numbness and indifference to aggression and destructive behaviors. There are many stories of famous people who, at the height of their success, ruined their lives due to their inability to manage their emotions. For example, great artists who fell into addiction or successful athletes who broke down under psychological pressure.

The real solution is not suppression, but acceptance. Acceptance means allowing yourself to experience your emotions without judging them. It’s like a meditation practice where you allow your thoughts and feelings to come and go without clinging to them. Acceptance helps us see and understand negative emotions, not run away from them. If the king had accepted his anger toward his minister, perhaps instead of imprisoning him, he would have looked for the reason for his pain and understood its hidden purpose sooner.

One of the challenges in accepting emotions is the fear of being consumed by them. We fear that if we allow ourselves to be sad, we will never be able to get out of it. This fear is not unfounded, but with mindfulness practice, we can overcome it. Mindfulness means you can observe your emotions from a safe distance. Instead of saying, “I am sad,” you can say, “I see the feeling of sadness within me.” This small change in phrasing helps you to separate yourself from the emotions and understand that you are not entirely that emotion.

Accepting emotions also means creating a safe space for yourself. This means allowing yourself to cry in private, trusting your friends and talking about what is in your heart, or even talking to a professional. In different cultures, there are various ways to express emotions, from mourning rituals to art therapy and writing. A great artist like Frida Kahlo brought her physical and mental pains onto the canvas and dealt with them in this way. This helped her to create timeless works from her pain.

But why is acceptance so important? Because without acceptance, we cannot move to the next stage. We cannot learn from a problem or find a solution for it. Acceptance is the gateway to wisdom. When the king accepted the pain of his severed finger, he was able to use it as a learning experience. He understood that every event, even a physical flaw, could be part of a larger plan. Acceptance allows you to reconcile with reality instead of resisting it and to use it to your advantage.

Acceptance also allows us to practice kindness toward ourselves. Many of us are very hard and merciless on ourselves in the face of our failures. We blame ourselves and feel guilty. But could the king have expected his finger not to be cut off? Could the minister have expected the king not to get angry? These events were beyond their control. When we accept this truth, we can be kinder to ourselves, just as we would be kind to a friend.

In conclusion, accepting despair is the first and most important step to reaching wisdom. This helps us to move out of the victim state and become a conscious observer. Instead of asking, “Why did this happen to me?” we can ask, “What lesson does this event hold for me?” This small change in question completely changes the course of our lives. Acceptance teaches us to embrace what is beyond our control, because within it, the seeds of wisdom are hidden.

Chapter Two: How can we see the light of hope in the midst of hardship?

Have you ever said to yourself after a bad event: “Why did this happen to me?” This question is just like the one the king asked himself after his finger was cut off. At first, we only see the pain, the physical and mental suffering, but we are unable to see the hidden side and the hidden wisdom within it. At this very moment, our mind acts like a painter and creates a dark and lifeless picture of the future. But what if instead of surrendering to this picture, we pick up the paintbrush and try to add other colors to it? This is exactly what we need to do to find wisdom in the heart of tragedy. The first step is to shift our focus: from “Why did this happen?” to “What does this event teach me?”

Shifting perspective is a mental process that helps us turn a negative situation into an opportunity for growth. This is like an art form in which, instead of focusing on the shadows, you look for the light. For example, one of the most famous examples is the failures of major companies. Steve Jobs, after being fired from Apple, the company he founded, experienced a bitter failure. But he used this failure as an opportunity to found Pixar and become one of the greatest film directors. He later said that being fired from Apple was the best thing that ever happened to him.

One of the practical techniques for reframing thoughts is the “gratitude journal.” In this exercise, you take a few minutes each day to write down the positive things that happened to you during the day, even if they are very small. This trains your brain to look for abundance instead of focusing on shortcomings. When the king was in prison, he could only think about the pain of his finger, but the minister saw wisdom even in prison. He knew well that even in the worst circumstances, positive aspects could be found. This exercise helps us to shift our perspective from darkness to light.

Another effective technique is questioning. Instead of torturing yourself with negative questions in your mind like “Why am I always unlucky?” you can ask more powerful questions. For example, “What opportunities does this experience create for me?” or “How can I use this situation to become stronger?” These types of questions move your mind out of a victim state and into a state of a problem-solver and explorer. This is exactly what the king eventually did. After being saved, he asked himself, “How did the cutting off of my finger save me from death?” and in this way, he discovered its wisdom.

You can also use the “story rewriting” technique. Suppose an unfortunate event has happened to you. Instead of writing it down as a failure or a tragedy, try to write it as a hero’s story. In this story, you are the main character who has faced a great challenge. Then write how you fought this challenge, what lessons you learned from it, and how you eventually became a stronger and more aware person. This helps you to have a more powerful view of your experiences and to use them as a stepping stone for growth.

Remember that wisdom is an internal discovery and everyone must find it for themselves. It is a personal and unique experience. There are many stories of successful people like Oprah Winfrey who faced a lot of poverty and hardship in their childhoods. But instead of giving up, they used those hardships as fuel to reach the pinnacle of success. They understood well that pain and suffering are an inseparable part of life, but they can be used to build a purposeful and meaningful life.

One should never think that these techniques are going to completely eliminate pain and suffering. No, that’s not the case. Pain is part of the process and we must accept it, as we discussed in the previous chapter. But these techniques help us to move forward despite the pain and to pass through it instead of being consumed by it. This is like the king who, despite the physical pain of his severed finger, continued to live and eventually used it to save his life.

Understanding that every challenge has a hidden opportunity within it gives us peace. This does not mean that we should be happy about failures, but it means that we can use them as a tool for growth. This perspective gives us power and moves us from a state of weakness to a state of inner strength. This helps us to understand that control over our destiny is in our own hands and not in the hands of events and circumstances.

Ultimately, the goal of looking at the hidden side is to find the “why,” a why that gives meaning to our lives. As Viktor Frankl, the psychiatrist and survivor of concentration camps, says, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” When we understand the reason and purpose behind our sufferings, they are no longer as painful. They become a part of our story, a story that gives us strength and meaning. This is how we find the light of hope in the midst of hardship and attain the hidden wisdom in life.

Chapter Three: Is there a way to find peace in the midst of problems?

Just like the king who cut his finger, all of us, at the moment a disaster strikes, look for an immediate answer. We want to know “why?” and “how?” and we want to be free from this unfortunate situation as soon as possible. But life, like a complex novel, slowly reveals its secrets, and many truths only become clear with the passage of time. Patience, here, does not mean being passive, but rather a conscious act. Patience means trusting the flow of life and accepting that some answers are not yet ready to be revealed. This understanding alone can lift a heavy burden from our shoulders.

Humans are inherently impatient. In today’s world, where everything happens with a click, we expect our pains and problems to be solved just as quickly. But in reality, the internal process of growth is much slower than the speed of the internet. Think about an oak tree. It takes years for this tree to grow from a small acorn into a massive tree. Every storm and every winter strengthens its roots. In the same way, we need time for our internal growth and strength. Trying to rush this process only adds to our anxiety.

One of the biggest challenges in practicing patience is the voice in our mind that constantly pushes us toward despair. This voice tells us: “This situation will never get better” or “You can’t get through this crisis.” This is where mindfulness exercises come to our aid. Mindfulness means being fully present in the current moment, without judgment. This practice helps us to see and hear negative thoughts, but not to believe them. For example, sit in silence for a few minutes each day, pay attention to your breaths, and let your thoughts pass by like clouds in the sky, without holding onto them.

Another exercise that can strengthen patience in us is to focus on daily tasks. Instead of directing all your attention to worrying about the future, pay attention to the things you are doing now. For example, when drinking coffee, pay attention to its aroma, the warmth of the cup, and its taste in your mouth. This helps you to distance yourself from your anxious mind and return to the peace of the present moment. By repeating this exercise, you will gradually realize that you can find peace even in the midst of chaos, just as the minister was calm in prison.

In addition to mindfulness, meditation is also a powerful tool for practicing patience. Meditation helps you to connect with your true self, with the part of your being that is greater than your thoughts and emotions. When this connection is established, you no longer see yourself as a victim of circumstances, but you look at your life as a conscious observer. This perspective gives you the power to accept that some things are out of your control and the only thing you can do is be patient and grow in the process.

Psychologists often ask their patients to live in the present moment. They say that worrying about the future is like paying a debt that is not yet due. Patience helps us to get out of this endless cycle of worry. Think of the story of the fisherman who waits for years for his big catch. He knows he can’t force the fish to come to his hook, but he can trust his patience and knowledge and will eventually get his reward. Life is the same way. We cannot force outcomes, but we can trust the process.

There are many historical examples of the power of patience. Viktor Frankl, the famous psychiatrist, says in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning” that in the concentration camps, only those who had found meaning for their suffering and had hope for a better future were able to survive. They knew well that patience was their only way to salvation. Instead of focusing on the pain of the moment, they thought about distant horizons and gave themselves hope that these sufferings would one day end. This hope, like a small light in absolute darkness, kept the path clear for them.

Patience also teaches us to give ourselves a break. On this path, we may sometimes fail, get discouraged, and feel like we are stuck. But the important thing is to allow ourselves to make mistakes and start over again. Just as a child learning to walk falls down over and over again, we also need practice to learn patience. This is a long and sometimes painful process, but the results are worthwhile. Inner peace and wisdom are the ultimate rewards for those who practice patience in their lives.

In the end, peace in the midst of problems does not mean the absence of problems, but rather our ability to maintain balance among them. Just as a skilled captain remains calm in the middle of a storm, we can also find our peace in the storms of life by practicing patience and trusting in time. This peace is our power to get through crises and allows us to discover the hidden wisdom in them, just as the king finally understood the purpose of his severed finger in the heart of the cannibals’ forest.

Chapter Four: How can we let go of the past to build a better future?

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and thought to yourself: “I wish I hadn’t done that?” or “If that hadn’t happened, how different would my life be?” These are the destructive “what ifs” and “if onlys” that the king was initially struggling with. He could have told himself over and over again: “If my finger hadn’t been cut off, I could have continued hunting” or “If the minister hadn’t said those things, I wouldn’t have thrown him in prison.” These thoughts, like a chain, bind us to the past and prevent us from moving toward the future. This chapter is about breaking these chains and letting go of the prison of regret.

Why do we cling to the past? One of the main reasons is that our mind is trying to protect itself from pain. When an unfortunate event occurs, the mind tries to reconstruct it to prevent it from happening again in the future. This is a survival mechanism, but when we dwell on it too much, it becomes a destructive thought pattern. We get stuck in the past and cannot enjoy the present moment. For example, a famous athlete who has lost an important competition might think about that moment for months or even years and tell himself: “If I hadn’t made that wrong move at that moment, I would be a champion now.” These thoughts not only don’t help him, but they also prevent him from focusing on his future training.

To get rid of this pattern, we must understand the difference between “regret” and “learning a lesson.” Regret is a look at the past that is accompanied by self-blame and criticism. In contrast, learning a lesson is a look at the past that is accompanied by accepting mistakes and finding a solution for the future. The king was initially full of regret, but he eventually learned a lesson from his severed finger. He understood that this event was not a disaster, but a salvation. This change in perspective freed him from shame and regret.

One of the effective techniques for letting go of the past is mindful writing. Take a notebook and write down all your “what ifs” and “if onlys.” Then, ask yourself: “Do these thoughts help me achieve my goals?” or “Do these thoughts help me grow?” The answer will most likely be no. Then, rewrite the same events, but this time with a positive perspective and as a life lesson. This exercise helps you to have a new perspective on your past and see it as a source of your inner strength.

Another important way is to focus on the “present.” The past no longer exists and the future has not yet arrived. The only thing that is in your control is this moment. By practicing mindfulness, as we mentioned in the previous chapter, you can keep yourself in the present moment. Instead of letting your mind wander in the past, pay attention to what is happening around you. Pay attention to the sound of birds, the sunlight streaming through the window, and the taste of the food you are eating. This conscious attention, like an anchor, keeps you in the present.

In today’s world, there are many examples of this kind of release from the past. For example, J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series, faced a lot of failures and poverty in her youth. She could have told herself: “I wish I hadn’t dropped out of college” or “If I had stayed in my old job, I would be in a better situation now.” But she didn’t. She focused her energy on writing and was inspired by her life’s hardships. By letting go of the past, she was able to build a new and successful future for herself.

But why is letting go of the past so difficult? Because of the fear of the unknown. We are afraid of the future and cling to a past that is familiar to us, even if it is painful. But we must know that if we want to move forward, we must let go of the past. Letting go of the past is a courageous act that allows us to move forward and face our fears. It is a choice, a choice to live in the present, not in the past.

Sometimes, we are afraid to let go of the past because we think that this means forgetting it. But this is not true. Letting go does not mean forgetting, but rather accepting it. We can remember our past, but not allow it to rule our current life. The king could have lived forever in the grief of losing his finger, but he accepted it as a lesson and used it for his future life.

Ultimately, the goal of letting go of “what ifs” and “if onlys” is to reclaim our power. When we are stuck in the past, our power is in the hands of events and circumstances beyond our control. But when we decide to focus on the present, power returns to our hands. We understand that our future is built with our decisions today, and not with the regrets of yesterday. This understanding gives us freedom and allows us to build a meaningful and purposeful life.

Chapter Five: How can we let go of judgments and resentments?

Have you ever, in your heart, judged someone for something they did or said? Perhaps your friend left you alone in your time of need, or your colleague jeopardized a project with a big mistake. In that moment, anger and despair, like the king’s, drive us to judgment and punishment. The king imprisoned his minister without a complete understanding of the circumstances. This prison is a metaphor for the mental prison we lock ourselves in when we hold onto resentment and judgment. This chapter is about the key to freedom from this prison and finding inner peace.

Rash judgment stems from fear and ignorance. We often condemn others based on incomplete information and our own personal perspective. Our mind likes to jump to conclusions and find a culprit for every event. But the truth is that behind every action, there is a hidden reason. The king’s minister, by saying “This too has a purpose,” did not intend to harm him, but was looking at the situation from a deeper perspective. If the king had tried to understand his minister’s point of view instead of judging, he might have avoided imprisoning him in the first place. Understanding that everyone sees the world from their own perspective and experience is the first step toward letting go of judgment.

One of the most powerful tools for letting go of resentment and judgment is empathy. Empathy is our ability to put ourselves in another person’s shoes and understand their feelings and motivations. This helps us to see how a person, given their circumstances and experiences, acted in a particular way. This does not mean approving of their actions, but rather understanding them. For example, a famous person who has been publicly criticized for a wrong decision may have been under severe psychological or family pressure that no one knows about. Empathy allows us to set aside judgment and instead seek understanding and compassion.

Forgiveness is the next step on this path. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or ignoring a mistake, but rather letting go of the heavy burden of anger and resentment that eats away at us from within. Forgiveness is, in fact, a gift to ourselves. When the king forgave his minister, he was actually freeing himself from the burden of shame and guilt he felt for his actions. Forgiveness liberates us from the past and allows us to focus our energy on building a better future. It is like cleaning a canvas to paint a new masterpiece.

But forgiving ourselves may be the hardest part of this process. Many of us are very harsh on ourselves for our own mistakes. We blame ourselves for a wrong decision, an inappropriate word, or an action born of ignorance. But we must remember that humans are fallible. Each of us makes mistakes throughout our lives, and this is part of our learning process. If the king had not forgiven himself for imprisoning his minister, he would not have been able to return to the city happily and apologize to his minister. Self-forgiveness allows us to see past mistakes as valuable lessons and use them for growth.

To practice self-forgiveness, you can use a forgiveness letter. In this exercise, write a letter to yourself in which you forgive yourself for all your past mistakes. In this letter, honestly write down all the things you blame yourself for, and then kindly forgive yourself and promise yourself to be kinder to yourself in the future. This letter is a powerful symbolic act that helps you to lift the heavy burden of guilt from your shoulders. This can be a deeply healing experience.

Ultimately, letting go of resentment and judgment leads us to peace and freedom. When we don’t judge others, we also free ourselves from the fear of being judged. When we forgive others, we are in fact freeing ourselves from the prison of anger. This freedom is like a fresh breeze that opens the doors of our soul and allows us to connect with others and with ourselves with love, empathy, and compassion. This is the wisdom that the king finally learned from his minister’s imprisonment: sometimes the greatest liberations are achieved by letting go of resentment and anger.

Chapter Six: Is it possible that the greatest harms are life’s greatest gifts?

At the end of our journey, we return to the same point where we began: the story of a king who, through pain and suffering, found salvation. The king’s severed finger was, at first glance, a disaster, but in the end, that same physical flaw was what saved his life from certain death. This story holds a deep and universal truth: the greatest wounds in our lives can be our greatest gifts. This chapter is a summary of all that we have learned and a light on the truth of how we can build a powerful and beautiful phoenix from the ashes of the past.

After every storm, the earth is nourished by the rain and becomes ready for new growth. Our lives are the same. Every failure, every loss, and every pain empties our being’s vessel to prepare it to be filled with something new and more valuable. This lesson can be learned from many stories throughout history. For example, Nelson Mandela spent many years of his life in prison. This prison was a deep wound, but it gave him the opportunity to work on his thoughts and philosophy and, in the end, as a great and reconciling leader, save his country from crisis. Prison, for him, became an internal school.

Discovering gifts within wounds does not mean that we should welcome pain or seek it out. Rather, it means that when pain comes to us, we should not treat it like an enemy, but rather like a teacher. Every event that happens to us has a hidden lesson within it. Lessons about our inner strength, about our courage, or about the true meaning of life. For example, losing a job may give you the courage you need to start your own business. Or maybe the end of a relationship helps you to love yourself and discover the true meaning of solitude.

Ultimately, this is the art of living. Our ability to turn suffering into growth, and pain into power. This helps us to move out of a passive state and become an active player in our own lives. We are no longer victims of circumstances, but rather the creators of our own destiny. By using past experiences, we make more conscious decisions for the future. In fact, our past becomes a compass that illuminates our path for the future and guides us toward a better and stronger version of ourselves.

Each of us is a treasure keeper. A treasure that is hidden within every wound and every difficult experience. Maybe this treasure is the power of forgiveness, maybe it is empathy, or maybe it is our ability to see beauty in the heart of darkness. These treasures help us to be a light not only for ourselves but also for others. Just as the king learned a lesson from his experience, we can also tell our stories to others and help them to find hope and strength on their own path. This gives meaning to our lives and turns us into meaningful and effective beings in the world.

Conclusion

The main goal of this book is to change your perspective on life’s suffering and problems. It doesn’t teach you to never feel pain; instead, it teaches you how to live with pain and use it for growth and development. On this journey, you’ll come to understand that every event, even those that at first seem like a tragedy, can carry a hidden purpose. This purpose will guide you toward making peace with your true self, letting go of the past, and creating a future full of peace and meaning.

In the end, remember that you have the power to turn wounds into gifts. Every time you face a challenge, ask yourself, “What is the purpose of this?” The answer to that question might, as simply as a severed finger, save your life.