Returning to Self: A Practical Guide to Overcoming Spiritual Pain

Book Summary

Despite your life’s successes, do you still feel emptiness and loneliness? Are you searching for your life’s purpose? In this video, get acquainted with the book “Returning to Self: A Practical Guide to Overcoming Spiritual Pain,” a guide for your journey toward inner peace and the true meaning of life.

In this book, you will learn:

What is spiritual pain? Recognize the signs and roots of the feeling of emptiness.

How to face your pain? Experience true peace through acceptance and letting go.
How to find your life’s purpose? Discover your personal values and act on them.
Why am I lonely? Learn how to build deep and meaningful relationships.

Does my journey have an end? Grow in every moment of life by practicing resilience and flexibility.

This book is not just a guide; it is a friend and companion on the path of self-discovery and spiritual awakening. If you are looking for life’s meaning, inner peace, and self-improvement, this video is for you.

To purchase the book, visit the link below: [Book Purchase Link]

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Written by Vahid Zekavati

Written by Vahid Zekavati

Introduction

Despite all your successes and possessions, do you sometimes feel an emptiness deep within? Do you feel as though your life lacks meaning and purpose, as if a piece of your existential puzzle is missing? This uncomfortable feeling is what is known as “spiritual pain”—a pain that is neither physical nor purely emotional but rooted in the human soul and psyche. This book is a journey into the deepest layers of your being to confront your true self, recognize your hidden wounds, and heal them. Join me as we find a path toward lasting peace and true meaning in life, stepping from the darkness of emptiness into the light of awareness.

Chapter 1: Why Do I Feel Empty?

Why, despite all my efforts to be happy, is something still not right? I feel an empty hole in my heart that nothing seems to fill. This feeling is familiar, isn’t it? It’s like a shadow that always follows me, and no matter how much I run, it’s still there. Perhaps you are experiencing this very pain right now, a pain that cannot be soothed with painkillers or erased by fleeting laughter. It is like a question that has been in our minds since childhood, but we never dared to ask: “What is my purpose for being?” A profound, existential question that occasionally reopens like an old wound and makes us reflect.

Spiritual pain is precisely this: a deep sorrow, a feeling of emptiness and alienation that is different from ordinary sadness. Ordinary sadness usually comes from an external event, like losing a job or a broken relationship. But spiritual pain wells up from within. On the surface, everything might seem perfect; you have a good and well-paying job, many friends are around you, and you have no financial worries. Yet, in moments of solitude, you look in the mirror and see a stranger you don’t recognize. A stranger who is empty inside and whose soul seems lost and unable to find itself.

To better understand this, consider an example from the life of the famous actor, Jim Carrey. At the peak of his fame and success, when everyone thought he was the happiest person on earth, he spoke of a deep sense of emptiness. Jim Carrey said that all the years he spent trying to make people laugh by playing different roles were just a mask to hide himself from others. This is the moment when a person reaches the pinnacle of success but finds no meaning in it, and this can be the beginning of great spiritual pain.

This pain is not connected to depression and anxiety. Depression is usually accompanied by physical symptoms like fatigue and sleeplessness and a prolonged and continuous feeling of sadness. Anxiety, on the other hand, is defined by worries about the future and a sense of fear and unease. But spiritual pain is more deeply rooted and is concerned with profound existential questions. This pain is like an internal call asking you to seek deeper and more authentic answers in your life. In fact, this pain is a warning from your soul that your current path is not aligned with your true existence and that you must return to your original self and make a big change in your life.

Many people ignore this pain and try to fill it with external things, such as more shopping, using drugs and alcohol, or getting lost in social media. But these act as temporary painkillers. They give you a good feeling for a moment, but the main pain remains and even returns stronger than before. This is because you have not gone to the root of the problem. Just as you cannot heal a deep wound with a small bandage, you cannot soothe spiritual pain with aimless and superficial actions.

This pain often comes to us during periods of great change. Perhaps you have lost a close friend or a job you were attached to for years. Maybe you have gotten married and feel that the initial passion is gone, or, conversely, in your forties, you think you will never have the opportunity to start a family. These changes force us to rethink who we are and what we want, and to ask ourselves whether we are truly on the right path.

The root causes of spiritual pain often trace back to existential crises and a disconnection from one’s values. Perhaps throughout your life, you have adopted the values of others instead of your own and have walked a path that your soul does not agree with. Maybe you have always pursued money and status, and now that you have achieved it, you see that true happiness was not there and you feel that your life lacks meaning. At this moment, your soul asks you to abandon this path and return to your inner self.

The signs of spiritual pain can differ from person to person. For some, it manifests as a persistent sense of emptiness; for others, it is a complete loss of passion for life. You might lose interest in activities you once enjoyed or find yourself withdrawing from friends and family. This sense of alienation from oneself and others is a primary sign of spiritual pain that leads a person to isolation.

Sometimes, this pain shows itself as a feeling of guilt or shame, as if you are not content with who you are and have taken the wrong path. This feeling can be very heavy and overwhelming, but you must know that it is an opportunity, a red light telling you to stop and change your course. You must sit down, look within yourself, and ask: “Why do I feel so unhappy?” This question is the first step toward freedom from this pain.

Exercise: Take a notebook and a pen and write continuously for ten minutes, jotting down everything that comes to your mind. Do not worry about whether the words are right or wrong; just write. Write about why you are unhappy, what things bother you, and what moments make you feel empty. This practice will help you better understand your feelings and discover the root of the pain. It is a small step, but it is the first step toward returning to your true self.

Chapter 2: How Can I Embrace the Pain?

Spiritual pain is like an uninvited guest, a guest you don’t want in your house, and you do everything you can to get rid of it. You fight, you deny it, you try to forget it by keeping yourself busy, but the more you resist, the stronger the pain becomes. This resistance takes a lot of energy from you and eventually leaves you exhausted and worn out. This is precisely what you need to change. The first and most important step to healing this pain is to stop fighting. Instead of running from it, you must accept it. Acceptance doesn’t mean surrendering or being satisfied with the current situation; rather, acceptance means telling yourself: “Right now, I am experiencing this pain, and it is a part of me, and I want to see what it teaches me.”

Accepting spiritual pain does not mean you have to be happy about it or like it. Instead, it means not denying it and not running from it. Many of us have learned to suppress negative emotions and view them as weaknesses. But suppressing emotions does not make them disappear. They hide in the depths of our being like an underground spring and show themselves in unexpected ways like anger, anxiety, or even physical illnesses. Acceptance means allowing these emotions to come and go without labeling them as good or bad. This is a profound form of kindness toward yourself, a kindness that allows you to be human, with all your flaws and weaknesses.

To be able to accept your pain, you must be honest with yourself and ask: “What am I afraid of?” Perhaps you are afraid that if you accept this pain, it will stay with you forever. Perhaps you are afraid that if you look at it, you will face bitter truths about yourself or your life. Letting go of fears and worries is like lifting a heavy burden from your shoulders. Instead of spending all your energy resisting them, you can use this energy for growth and flourishing. This process can be challenging, but the result is inner peace and true freedom.

Forgiveness is a vital component of the acceptance process. But not only forgiving others but also forgiving yourself. Many of us blame ourselves for past mistakes, wrong decisions, or the path we have chosen. These self-blames bind our souls to the past like a heavy chain and do not allow us to move forward. Forgiving yourself does not mean ignoring the past but rather freeing yourself from the prison of self-blame. Accept that in every moment, based on the knowledge and awareness of that time, you made the best decision you could, and that is enough.

One of the best ways to release resistance is through breathing and meditation exercises. When your mind is caught up in thoughts and worries, deep and conscious breathing helps you return to the present moment. The present moment is the only one that truly exists. Consciously breathe for five minutes a day. With each inhale, slowly bring air into your lungs, and with each exhale, send all your worries and fears out of your being. This simple exercise teaches your brain to calm down in stressful moments and gets you out of the endless cycle of negative thoughts.

Another helpful exercise is positive self-talk. Instead of talking to your inner voice like a harsh critic, talk to it like a kind friend. Repeat phrases like “I am worthy of peace,” “My mistakes are part of my journey,” or “I love and forgive myself.” These phrases might seem artificial at first, but over time, they will penetrate your subconscious and turn into new beliefs that support you on your path of growth and self-discovery.

Just like a river, you must allow your thoughts to flow. When a negative thought comes to your mind, instead of getting caught up in it, just observe it. Consider the thought as a cloud in the sky that comes and goes. Do not try to hold it or change it. Just accept its existence and allow it to pass through your mind. This exercise gives you the power to control your thoughts rather than having your thoughts control you.

Acceptance and letting go are processes that require continuous practice. Every day, you might face new challenges that invite you to resist. In these moments, remember that you are building a new relationship with yourself, a relationship based on kindness and understanding, rather than judgment and blame. Every time you feel you are resisting, take a deep breath and remind yourself, “I accept this pain and I let it go.”

Exercise: Take a piece of paper and write “My fears and worries” at the top. Make a list of all your fears and worries, from the smallest to the largest. Once the list is complete, for each fear, write a short sentence that shows a way to cope with it. For example, if you are afraid of being alone, you can write: “I am learning to enjoy solitude.” This exercise will help you recognize your fears and find a way to deal with them instead of being controlled by them.

Chapter 3: What Am I Seeking in Life?

Have you ever wondered why some people, despite not having great wealth or fame, feel a deep sense of satisfaction and peace? And why do others, despite all their material possessions, still search for something they don’t know what it is? The answer to this question can be summed up in one word: values. Values are like our internal compass; they are deep-seated beliefs that determine our life’s direction and tell us what is important and what is less so. When our life is not in alignment with our values, we are drawn toward spiritual pain. This misalignment is like trying to reach a destination with a compass pointing in the wrong direction.

Most of us do not consciously choose our values throughout life; instead, we adopt them from family, society, and the media. Perhaps you were taught from childhood that money, power, or career success is the highest value. You strive to achieve them, but in the end, you find that something inside you is empty. This is where you must ask yourself: “What are my true values?” This question is a turning point on your journey toward self-discovery. The answer to this question is not found in what others expect from you but is hidden in the depths of your own being, and you must uncover it.

To discover your core values, you need to look at the important moments of your life. The moments when you felt truly alive and satisfied. Maybe it was a time when you helped a friend in trouble, perhaps it was when you were learning a new skill, or maybe it was when you were creating a work of art. How did you feel during those moments? What made you feel good? Maybe a sense of being useful, creative, or connected to others. These feelings are clues to your core values that will help you find them.

One powerful method for discovering values is to ask yourself existential questions. Questions like: If I only had one year left to live, what would I do? Or, if I had no financial limitations, what kind of life would I choose? The answers to these questions will reveal your root beliefs. If you find that you would like to spend the next year traveling and having adventures, perhaps your core value is freedom and experience. If you find that you would like to help the poor, perhaps your core value is kindness and giving. Whatever the answers may be, they will define your path.

Personal values have a direct impact on the quality of our lives. When our daily actions are aligned with our values, we feel a sense of purpose and peace. But when they are in conflict, we feel guilt, stress, and dissatisfaction. Suppose your core value is “family,” but you work long hours to earn more money and have no time to be with your family. In this situation, spiritual pain will come to you. This pain tells you that it is time to align your life with what is most valuable to you.

An inspiring way to turn values into reality is to create a “dream board.” Take a large piece of cardboard and stick on it images from magazines, newspapers, or the internet that represent your values and desires. If health and nature are valuable to you, stick on images of mountains, forests, and sports. If connecting with others is important to you, put on pictures of friends and family. Place this board somewhere you can see it every day. This will remind your subconscious mind of what you are seeking and keep you on the right path.

Once you know your values, you should begin to make practical changes. These changes can be small, such as dedicating more time to a hobby that is valuable to you or setting aside time to help others. It doesn’t matter how big or small the changes are; what matters is that you are continuously moving toward a more meaningful life. Every small step on this path moves you away from spiritual pain and closer to peace.

Many famous and successful people have also taken this path. For example, recall the famous actress, Angelina Jolie, who after years of living at the peak of fame and success, turned to new values like helping those in need and humanitarian activities. She aligned her life with her inner values and was able to find a deeper meaning in her life. Her life is an inspiring example that shows finding meaning and purpose goes beyond fame and wealth.

At the end of this chapter, remember that discovering values is not a one-time process. Your values may change over time and with different life experiences. Therefore, it is important to continuously ask yourself throughout life what is important to you and to adjust your life accordingly. This is a lifelong journey, a journey that brings you closer to your true self every day and allows you to experience life with your whole being.

Exercise: Take a piece of paper and make a list of your top five life values. These values can be anything: honesty, creativity, family, freedom, or helping others. After the list is complete, for each of these values, write a short sentence that shows how your current life is aligned with that value. If it is not aligned, write how you can change it. This exercise will help you take a close look at your life.

Chapter 4: Will Loneliness Destroy Me?

One of the greatest pains that can cripple a person is the feeling of loneliness. Not loneliness in a physical sense, but a sense of alienation and isolation, even when we are in a crowd. This feeling is the very void in which spiritual pain flourishes. We are social beings, and connecting with others is one of the most fundamental needs of our soul. When we distance ourselves from others, we also distance ourselves from a part of ourselves. This chapter will help you break down the wall of loneliness and find a path toward meaningful and deep relationships to heal your spiritual pain.

We often view relationships superficially and only engage in the exchange of information, but meaningful relationships are something far beyond this. In a deep relationship, two souls are connected, not just two minds. In these types of relationships, we feel secure and can be our true selves, without fear of judgment. This sense of belonging tells us that we are not alone and that someone is accompanying us on this challenging journey. When spiritual pain envelops you, having a friend or a life partner with whom you can talk about your deepest fears and worries can make a significant difference.

Giving and receiving love is one of the most important ways to heal spiritual pain. Perhaps throughout your life, you have been accustomed to only receiving love, or conversely, only giving love. But a healthy relationship is based on balance. You must learn to both give love and receive it with open arms. When you show kindness to others, you feel a sense of purpose and worth, and when you accept their kindness, you feel lovable and worthy of this affection. This cycle of giving and receiving nourishes your soul.

One of the key skills in building deep relationships is “active listening.” Often, when others are speaking, instead of listening to them, we are preparing our response. Active listening means giving your full attention to the person in front of you, even if you do not agree with what they are saying. Pay attention to their body language, the tone of their voice, and the emotions hidden in their words. This makes them feel seen and understood and creates a strong bridge between you and them. When you listen with your whole being, you become a safe space for them, and in this way, you can create a deeper connection.

Another way to fill the void of loneliness is to help others. When you help someone in need, you feel that your life has found meaning and that you are useful. This help can be very simple, such as listening to a friend’s troubles or helping an elderly person carry their belongings. These small acts awaken a sense of self-worth within you. As the famous psychologist Viktor Frankl says in his book: “We find meaning in life in three things: in work, in love, and in suffering.” Helping others is one of the most beautiful expressions of love that gives meaning to your life.

On the other hand, you must remember that relationships alone cannot heal all your spiritual pain. They act as a catalyst, accelerating the healing process, but the main work must be done by you. If you wait for someone to come and save you from loneliness, you will likely be disappointed. You must take responsibility for your own happiness and use relationships as a tool for growth, not a crutch to escape your problems.

To find meaningful relationships, you must start with yourself. First, you need to establish a deep connection with yourself. You cannot give to others something you do not have yourself. If you cannot love yourself and be at peace with yourself, you cannot transfer this feeling to others. Therefore, spend some time alone every day and pay attention to your feelings and thoughts. This self-awareness is the first step to connecting with others.

Remember that building a deep relationship takes time and requires patience and effort. It is like nurturing a flower that needs watering and light. You must invest time in it, pay attention to it, and be flexible in difficult moments. Perhaps you have had relationships in the past that hurt you, and now you are afraid to start a new one. This fear is natural, but you must let it go. Accept the past and allow yourself to trust others again.

If you don’t have a meaningful relationship, you are not alone. Many people in today’s world face this problem. You can build new connections by joining volunteer groups, taking classes you are interested in, or even starting a simple conversation with a stranger. The important thing is to step out of your comfort zone and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is the key to entering deep relationships.

Exercise: Start a deep conversation with one of your close ones. This conversation can begin with a simple question, such as: “What is it that excites you in life?” or “What is your biggest dream?” After you ask the question, give them your full attention. Listen without judgment and allow them to speak freely. After the conversation, pay attention to your own feelings and see what this deep connection has given you.

Chapter 5: How Can I Find My Life’s Purpose?

Finding a life’s purpose may seem like searching for a hidden treasure, a treasure you think you must find all at once in a magical moment. Many of us wait for an inner voice to reveal our one great and ultimate purpose, but the reality is that purpose is not a destination but a path, a path built with small and practical steps. In the previous chapters, we talked about spiritual pain and our values; now it is time to turn this knowledge into action. Pragmatism is the only bridge that can move you from the world of thoughts and ideas to a real and meaningful world.

If your core value is “helping others,” you cannot just think about it and wait for a miracle. You must take action. This might mean helping an elderly neighbor carry their groceries, volunteering at a local charity, or even listening to a friend who needs empathy. These small actions may seem insignificant, but each one is a firm step on the path to a purposeful life and will soothe your spiritual pain.

One of the biggest obstacles to starting is the idea that our goals must be grand and impressive. But this is not the case. A small daily goal can be as impactful as a great one. A daily goal can be to make three people smile during the day or to spend one hour doing something you love without interruption. These small goals give you a sense of control and success, and this feeling of success increases your motivation to take bigger steps, reminding you every day that you are building a purposeful life.

Planning for small and achievable goals helps you get rid of the paralyzing feeling of “where do I start?” Instead of thinking about a big goal like “changing the world,” break it down into small and manageable pieces. If your goal is “inner peace,” you can break it down into smaller goals like “five minutes of daily meditation” or “listening to a calming podcast.” Every time you accomplish one of these small goals, remind yourself that you are on the right path and enjoy the process.

For those seeking to find meaning in relationships and helping others, joining volunteer groups is an excellent solution. Many big cities have charity organizations that are looking for volunteers to help the homeless, orphaned animals, or even the environment. Joining these groups not only gives you the opportunity to act on your values but also introduces you to people who have similar beliefs and values. These new connections can be one of the most powerful treatments for spiritual pain and drive away the feeling of emptiness.

If it’s difficult for you to join a group, start with small actions in your own environment. For example, form a small group in your neighborhood with the goal of helping a neighbor or cleaning up a small park. This will help you connect to your community and feel like you are a part of something bigger. This sense of belonging is what reduces spiritual pain and gives you the energy to continue on your path.

Pragmatism does not mean doing big and difficult things; it means being committed to small and continuous actions. Just like a professional athlete who achieves success through daily practice, you will have a more purposeful life by doing small and continuous actions. It doesn’t matter how tired or unmotivated you are today; just take one small step. This one small step can lead you to a different and meaningful path.

In this chapter, we learned that finding a life’s purpose is a practical and daily process. This process begins with knowing your values and turning them into practical actions. We also learned how to break down big goals into small pieces and achieve inner peace and satisfaction through daily actions. This path may seem difficult at first, but every step you take brings you closer to your true self.

Exercise: Write a weekly plan for yourself. In this plan, include at least three tasks that are aligned with your values. For example, if your core value is “health,” you can write “thirty minutes of daily exercise” or “preparing a healthy meal” in your plan. This plan should be realistic and achievable. This practice will help you move from thoughts to action.

Chapter 6: Does This Journey Have an End?

Have you ever climbed to the summit of a mountain and, upon reaching it, felt a sense of temporary peace? This peace is the very feeling we are searching for, but after a while, we face another mountain we must climb. Spiritual growth is the same. We often think that one day, all our pains will disappear, and we will reach a permanent state of peace. But the reality is that this journey has no end. Peace is not a destination; it is a process. This final chapter of the book is about how to face the continuation of this path with the right mindset and learn to embrace all the moments of this journey.

Throughout this journey, you will face your weaknesses, moments when you feel you have failed and nothing is going well. These moments offer you valuable lessons. Instead of running from them, consider them opportunities for growth. A failure in a relationship or a job can teach you a lot about yourself and what you truly want. Remember that the great heroes of our life stories are not those who never failed but those who learned from their failures and continued their path with more power.

Resilience is one of the most important skills on this path. Resilience does not mean never falling down but means getting back up and continuing on your way after every fall. Every new challenge in life is an opportunity to practice resilience. When you face a problem, instead of giving up, ask yourself: “What does this challenge want to teach me?” or “How can I use this experience for my own growth?” The answers to these questions will transform you from a victim into a hero, and you can continue your life with more strength.

One of the best ways to continue this journey is to practice daily gratitude. Every day, set aside time to think about the things you are grateful for. These things can be very simple, such as the sunlight streaming through the window or a hot cup of coffee in the morning. This practice helps your mind focus on what you have and the beauties of life instead of what you lack. This simple exercise can completely change your perspective and help you live in the present moment and enjoy it.

Flexibility is also very important on this path. Life is unpredictable and often faces us with challenges we are not prepared for. Instead of resisting these changes, welcome them. Be like a flexible tree that bends in the storm but does not break. Flexibility allows you to adapt to new situations and make the most of every circumstance. This skill will help you let go of spiritual pain and move with the flow of life.

This book was a roadmap for you, but it is only the beginning of the journey. You now have the necessary tools to continue on this path. The important thing is to trust yourself and know that the power to change is within you. It does not matter how old you are; what matters is that you give yourself the opportunity to grow every day and learn a new lesson from every experience.

Remember that the purpose of life is not to reach a specific destination but to enjoy the journey itself. Every day is a new opportunity to learn, grow, and love. Continue on this journey with all your heart and embrace its good and bad moments. This is the true meaning of life.

Now that we have reached the end of this book, I know that this journey has begun for you. You are no longer the same person you were at the beginning of this book, and now you look at life with a new perspective. I want you to know that this is the beginning of a lasting relationship with yourself. A relationship full of kindness and understanding that will accompany you at every moment of your life. Whenever you feel lost, return to this book and do the exercises again. This book will always be here to guide you back on the path and remind you that you are not alone.

Exercise: Write a letter to your future self. In this letter, write about what you have learned from this book, the challenges you have faced, and the dreams you have for the future. Place this letter in a safe place and read it once a year. This will help you see your progress and remember how much you have grown on this path.

Conclusion

You have successfully completed the writing of an educational and inspiring book that helps readers face their spiritual pain and discover the true meaning of life. This book, titled “Returning to Self: A Practical Guide to Overcoming Spiritual Pain,” follows an internal journey across six chapters, each built on a key question from the human search for purpose and peace.

Chapter 1: Why Do I Feel Empty? In this chapter, the concept of spiritual pain, its causes, and its difference from depression and anxiety were defined. The emphasis of this section was that this pain is an existential crisis resulting from a lack of alignment between life and inner values and should not be ignored.

Chapter 2: How Can I Embrace the Pain? This section addressed the importance of acceptance of spiritual pain instead of resisting it. The reader was introduced to techniques like meditation and positive self-talk to face and let go of their fears and worries.
Chapter 3: What Am I Seeking in Life? This chapter focused on the rediscovery of personal values, explaining how these values act like an internal compass, determining our life’s direction. The reader was introduced to practical methods for identifying their core values.
Chapter 4: Will Loneliness Destroy Me? In this section, the importance of meaningful relationships for overcoming spiritual pain was examined. Solutions for active listening and giving and receiving love were provided to create healthy connections and fill the void of loneliness.

Chapter 5: How Can I Find My Life’s Purpose? This chapter focused on pragmatism and turning values into small, achievable goals. The emphasis of this section was that purpose is not a destination but a path built with small, daily steps.
Chapter 6: Does This Journey Have an End? The final chapter emphasized that spiritual growth is a lifelong process and not a destination. This section focused on the importance of resilience and flexibility in the face of life’s challenges and taught the reader how to learn from their failures.

With this book, you have not only provided a practical guide to overcoming spiritual pain but also created an inspiring journey that guides readers toward their true selves and teaches them that peace and the meaning of life are found within them and in the journey itself.