From Should to Must: The Roadmap to an Unbeatable Life

Book Summary

Are you tired of endless lists of things you should do but never finish? Do you want to know the secret to the success of extraordinary people like Oprah Winfrey and Michael Jordan? In this video, we take a deep dive into a revolutionary concept that can change your life forever: turning a “should” into a “must.”

This video is a powerful summary of the book “From Should to Must: The Roadmap to an Unbeatable Life.” We will show you why all your efforts to this day have not paid off and how you can achieve any goal you have in mind with a small shift in mindset.

In this video, you will learn:

Why “shoulds” are just an illusion of success and how they trap us in a cycle of disappointment.
How to engineer your mind to achieve big goals.
The secret to turning a “must” into an unbreakable habit.

How to overcome the biggest obstacle on the path to success: internal resistance.
A practical roadmap for implementing these concepts in your career, relationships, and health.

If you are ready to break free from excuses and build an unbeatable life, do not miss this video. For more information and to get the book, follow the link below.

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Why You Never Achieve Your Goals? | The Secret to Becoming an Unbeatable Person

Written by Vahid Zekavati

Introduction:
In a world full of “should” lists and unfulfilled goals, have you ever asked yourself why, despite all your efforts, you’re still standing at the same starting point? This book offers a bold answer to that question and shows you that the problem isn’t your effort, but your mindset. “From Should to Must” is a roadmap for a life where aspirations become unbreakable commitments. If you’re ready to break free from the endless cycle of excuses and step into a powerful life, your journey begins here.

Chapter One: Why “Shoulds” Fail?

Perhaps the biggest lie we tell ourselves every day is made of a simple, five-letter word: should. I should exercise, I should study more, I should save money for my future. These words seem like a good plan for a better life, but if you look closer, you’ll realize that something hidden behind them prevents us from moving forward. Have you ever wondered why, despite all your efforts, your list of unfinished tasks gets longer every day and your goals are postponed? This book will show you why this happens and how you can stop it forever. The main problem isn’t your effort, but your mindset toward these “shoulds.”

If you truly want to achieve your goals, you must start by accepting the harsh truth that these words only create an illusion of success. They give us a false sense of control, while in reality, they trap us in an endless cycle of disappointment and stagnation. These “shoulds” are like a false promise that easily fools our minds. We go to sleep every night hoping that tomorrow will be different, but in the morning, we wake up with the same unfinished list. This is the story of many people, and it might be your story too.

If you ask yourself why this happens, the answer lies in one word: resistance. Resistance is the hidden and powerful force that stands against every positive action we intend to take. This resistance plants excuses in our minds such as “I don’t have time right now,” “I’m too tired,” and “I’ll do it tomorrow.” These excuses are the tools that “shoulds” use to survive. When a task is just a “should” for us, our mind easily finds an escape route for it and guides us toward the easiest path.

But the lives of successful and great people do not follow this rule. They have understood from the beginning that they cannot rely on “shoulds” for any big goal. For them, the goal has turned into an internal compulsion, a red line that is impossible to cross. This is the fundamental difference between a raw wish and a real commitment. “Shoulds” are just a desire, and there is always an escape route for them, but “musts” have no escape route. They are like breathing and become a part of your existence.

A “must” is a very powerful force, because it frees you from the grip of excuses and gives you the power to keep going even on days when you don’t feel good. In fact, successful people take action because of a “must,” not a “should.” For them, doing a task is not a choice, but an internal compulsion. For an Olympic champion, practicing is not a “should,” but a “must” that shapes their identity.

Imagine that your mind is like a programmed computer. When you enter a “should” into it, you are giving a conditional command: “If the conditions are good, do this.” But when you enter a “must,” you are giving an absolute command: “This must be done, without any conditions.” Only with such a change in mental programming can you break free from the repetitive cycles of failure. This change is the first step toward entering a life where your goals are no longer aspirations, but become reality.

In this chapter, I will help you identify your deepest “shoulds,” the ones that have kept you stagnant for years. Maybe these “shoulds” are related to your career, relationships, or health. Once you know these “shoulds,” you can say goodbye to them forever and replace them with powerful “musts.” This is not a simple journey, but it is certainly valuable and will lead you toward a powerful life.

To begin this journey, pause for a moment and honestly ask yourself: If I put all the excuses aside, what is the one thing I must do right now that I have been avoiding for years? The answer to this question is your first step to changing your life. Write it down in your mind or on a piece of paper. This is the “should” that we will turn into a “must” together today.

Chapter Two: The “Awakening” Moment

Have you ever considered that the biggest obstacles in your life are not external, but internal? These obstacles are the “shoulds” that have taken root deep within you. They act like a virus that prevents you from moving forward. In order to eliminate these internal obstacles, you must first recognize them. The “awakening” moment is when you first confront this harsh, yet liberating truth: that all your unfinished lists are the result of a choice, not fate. This deep self-awareness is the first step toward a lasting and real change.

The awakening moment can be different for everyone. For some, it is a major business failure; for others, seeing an old friend’s success; and for a group, it is simply looking in the mirror and facing a version of themselves they don’t like. This moment forces you to look at yourself and your life honestly. A fundamental question arises at this moment: “What have I been postponing that, if I started today, would change my life forever?” The answer to this question is your first “should” that needs to become a “must.”

An example of a common “should” in many people’s lives is exercising. You might tell yourself every day: “I should exercise to stay healthy.” But when you wake up in the morning, your mind presents excuses like “I’m too tired today” or “I’ll have more time tomorrow.” These excuses are, in fact, your internal resistance that doesn’t allow you to turn the “should” into a “must.” This shows that exercising was a wish for you, not a firm decision.

To identify your deepest “shoulds,” answer these questions: If no one were to judge you, what would you truly love to do that you’ve been running from? If you weren’t afraid of failure, what big step would you take in your life? The answers to these questions will reveal your three main “shoulds.” These three “shoulds” are likely the goals that have been postponed for a long time in your life and are preventing you from moving toward success.

Now that you have identified these “shoulds,” think about why they haven’t become a “must” for you. The reason is that these goals weren’t important enough for you, otherwise you would have found a way for them. The famous example of “Tim Grover,” Michael Jordan’s mental coach, is very inspiring. He says Michael Jordan never told himself “I should practice.” For him, winning and being the best were a “must,” and practicing was just one of the things he had to do to achieve that must.

The “awakening” moment happens when you realize how much value you’ve given to your mental excuses. These excuses are like thieves who, with your permission, steal your time and energy. They don’t allow you to take a step toward the future you have always desired. This part of the book, in fact, holds a mirror up to you so you can look at your life authentically and without filters.

Just as a gardener must first remove weeds to help a plant grow, you too must first remove the weak and baseless “shoulds” from your life to grow and succeed. This task may seem painful at first, but it is an inevitable necessity for growth and progress. Only by letting go of these “shoulds” can you prepare your mind and spirit for powerful “musts.”

This chapter encourages you to step out of your comfort zone. Remember that no great change happens in a safe and comfortable zone. To achieve a powerful life, you must be ready to accept discomfort and challenge. These discomforts are, in fact, signs of your growth and tell you that you are on the right path.

The biggest lesson you will learn in this chapter is that power is in your hands and you can change your life at any moment. You have the power to turn “shoulds” into “musts,” and this is the same power that transforms you from an ordinary person into an unbeatable individual. This chapter is the beginning of this change and shows you that it’s never too late to change.

Chapter Three: Engineering the Mind for “Must”

The human mind is a powerful tool, but if you do not know how to program it, it will enslave you instead of serving you. In the previous chapter, we identified the “shoulds” and understood how they prevent our growth. Now, it is time to move to the practical stage and engineer our brains to accept “musts.” This means changing thought habits and creating a mental red line, a red line that does not allow you to easily back down from your goals. This process is both a science and an art, and with practice and repetition, you can master it.

Imagine your mind is a pilot and you are a passenger on the plane. In normal conditions, the pilot takes you to your destination, but in a crisis, if the pilot has not been trained beforehand, they cannot make the right decision. “Must” is that crisis training. This concept means creating a thought system that automatically activates on tough days and when facing excuses. This system tells you that a “should” does not remain just a choice, but turns into a vital decision.

One of the best ways to engineer the mind is to use the “Public Commitment” technique. This simple but powerful technique is based on the principle that when you publicly announce your goal, your internal accountability multiplies. For example, if you want to start writing a book, instead of just keeping it in your mind, announce on a social platform or to your friends and family that you intend to finish your book within the next six months. This public announcement creates a mental red line for you and turns external pressure into an internal compulsion.

Another solution is to use the “Reward and Punishment System.” This system subconsciously conditions your brain for better performance. For every “must” you stick to, consider a small and meaningful reward for yourself. This reward could be buying a favorite book or watching a movie. In contrast, for every time you fall short of your “must,” consider a logical and tolerable punishment, such as doing an extra task the next day. This system stimulates your brain to do things and motivates you.

We can use sports examples to better understand these concepts. Michael Phelps, the legendary swimmer, would wake up every day at five in the morning and begin his training. Did he always want to do this? No. But for him, winning and breaking records was a “must.” He had programmed his mind in a way that he did not accept any excuse. For him, training was not a choice, but a commitment that he had to fulfill every day and under all circumstances. This commitment had created a mental red line for him.

You might ask how we can create this mental red line in our daily lives? The answer lies in one key word: repetition. Every day, remind your mind of your goal with positive affirmations. These sentences can be very simple: “I am a writer, and I am writing today,” or “I am a healthy person, and I am exercising.” This repetition, over time, programs your brain to accept your new identity. In this way, “shoulds” turn into “musts.”

In this chapter, you will learn how to program your mind for your success instead of being controlled by it. This mind engineering is an internal journey that allows you to use your full potential and achieve a powerful life. This chapter shows you that your internal power is much greater than you think.

Learn to embrace “shoulds” with open arms instead of running from them. Remember that these “shoulds” will ultimately help you become the best version of yourself. Only by turning “should” into “must” can you transform from an ordinary person into an extraordinary one.

Chapter Four: When “Must” Becomes a Habit

A big and lasting change never comes from a momentary decision, but from the continuous repetition of small actions. Many of us think that for success, we need a sudden and massive change, but the truth is that our musts truly become powerful when they turn into an inseparable part of our identity. This process, which is turning a conscious action into a subconscious behavior, is what is called habit formation. When a “must” becomes a habit, you will no longer need willpower and energy to do it, because it has become a part of your being.

Imagine that you want to read for twenty minutes every morning. At first, this might seem like a hard “should.” Your brain resists and comes up with excuses not to do it. But if you repeat this task every day, without fail, after a while, you will no longer need to argue with yourself. The morning reading becomes a “must” and then, a habit. You become “a person who reads every day.” This new identity is stronger than any motivation.

One of the best ways to build a habit is to use the “Two-Minute Rule.” This very simple yet effective rule says that any new task you want to start, you should only do for two minutes. For example, if you want to make exercising a habit, only exercise for two minutes. If you want to read a book, only read for two minutes. This seemingly small task significantly reduces your mental resistance, because your brain does not consider it a big and hard task. Once you start, it will be much easier to continue. By repeating this task for a few days, your brain gets used to this behavior and accepts it as a natural thing.

For a “must” to become a habit, it must be pursued consistently. In this process, tracking progress is very important. A great way to do this is to use a “Habit Tracking Card.” Put a simple calendar or a sheet of paper somewhere that you can see it. Every time you fulfill your “must,” draw an “X” on that day. Your goal is to never break the chain of “X”s. This method creates a visual sense of success and commitment and encourages you to keep going.

Mike Tyson, the legendary boxing champion, is a great example of the power of habit and must. He did not need motivation to train. His daily training routine was a must that had turned into a habit. He would wake up at four in the morning and train. He did not know excuses like being tired or unmotivated. He had become an “awakened warrior” whose daily routine built his identity. For him, every training session was a step to maintain his identity as the best boxer in the world.

Learn to focus on the daily process instead of focusing on big and out-of-reach goals. A massive mountain is conquered with small steps. Every small step you take is a brick that builds your wall of success. Every time you stick to your “must,” you have not only accomplished a task, but you have also gotten closer to your new identity: the identity of an unbeatable person.

Only by turning a “must” into a habit can you break free from the endless cycles of excuses and disappointment and achieve a powerful life. This process may seem hard and exhausting at first, but its results will transform your life forever.

Chapter Five: Overcoming Internal Resistance

On the path from a “should” to a “must,” your biggest enemy is not external, but internal. This enemy is the internal resistance that manifests as excuses, fear of failure, and hopelessness. This force tells you that what you want to do is hard or not important, and it tries to pull you back into your safe and comfortable zone. It’s important to know that this resistance is completely natural and exists in the lives of all people, even the most successful ones. The difference is that successful people have learned how to confront and manage this resistance, not run from it.

The first step to overcoming internal resistance is to accept its existence. Instead of fighting it or blaming yourself for it, accept it as a natural part of the growth process. When your inner voice says, “Not now, I’ll do it later,” acknowledge it and say, “Okay, I hear you, but this has to be done.” This acceptance reduces its power and allows you to take control. This is an internal conversation where you play the role of the leader.

One of the most powerful tools of internal resistance is the fear of failure. This fear tells you that if you try and don’t succeed, you are not worthy. But you must change this mindset. Failure is an event, not an identity. Every failure is actually a learning opportunity. For example, Thomas Edison failed thousands of times to invent the lightbulb. If he had accepted every failure as an identity, he would have never succeeded. He saw every failure as a step toward success. Learn to accept failure as a natural part of the path to success instead of being ashamed of it.

On tough days when your motivation is low, you must use practical solutions to maintain your commitment. One of these solutions is “small actions.” Instead of thinking about the whole path, just focus on one small step. If your goal is to write a book, on days when you are not in the mood, just write one paragraph. This small task prevents your chain of commitment from breaking and reminds you that you are still on the path. This action proves to your mind that you are stronger than your excuses and that you are committed to your “must.”

Another solution is to “plan your tomorrow.” When you decide what you need to do tomorrow at night, you are actually increasing your decision-making power for tomorrow. This reduces internal resistance the next morning, because you will no longer have to think about what to do. By doing this, your mind is prepared to act, and instead of fighting with excuses, you just get the work done. This is a simple but important victory against resistance.

Finally, to overcome resistance, you must learn to be empathetic with yourself. Don’t be too hard on yourself. If you fail on one day, don’t blame yourself. You just have to try again the next day. Oprah Winfrey, one of the most successful people in the world, failed many times in her life, including major career failures. But she never accepted these failures as her identity. She knew that every failure gave her a new lesson and paved her way for greater successes. She learned to accept failure instead of fearing it.

Chapter Six: “Must” in Practice

Now that you are familiar with the concepts of “should” and “must” and have the necessary tools to engineer your mind and overcome internal resistance, it is time to apply this power in practice and in all aspects of your life. “Must” is not just an abstract concept; it is a driving force that transforms your daily life. This chapter shows you how you can implement “must” in your career, relationships, and health and achieve an extraordinary life. In this chapter, we will review the stories of people who have changed the course of their lives forever by turning their “shoulds” into “musts.”

Case Study: Oprah Winfrey is an excellent example of this process in action. She faced many challenges in her childhood and adolescence, but she never gave up on her goal of becoming an influential person. For her, success was not a “should,” but a “must.” She turned her “shoulds” into “musts.” For example, “I should try harder” turned into “I am always trying to achieve my goals.” With this mindset, she hosted her television shows with complete commitment and with the goal of inspiring people and never allowed excuses like fatigue or hopelessness to stop her. The result of this commitment is her becoming one of the most powerful and inspiring people in the world.

Application in Different Aspects of Life:

Career and Professional Goals: In the workplace, many of us face a list of “shoulds”: “I should submit this report,” “I should treat my colleagues better,” “I should learn a new skill.” To turn these “shoulds” into “musts,” you just need to change your perspective. Instead of seeing your work as a duty, consider it a part of your professional identity. Tell yourself: “I am a successful and committed person who does their work with the best quality possible.” This statement turns the work from a duty into an inseparable part of your identity.
Relationships and Personal Life: In relationships, “shoulds” usually appear as: “I should spend more time with my spouse,” “I should call my friends.” To turn these into “musts,” look at them as an emotional commitment. Tell yourself: “My relationships are a priority for me. I am a person who cares about their relationships.” This mindset helps you make time for your loved ones on busy and turbulent days and strengthens your relationships.

Health and Personal Growth: In the field of health, “shoulds” are very common: “I should exercise,” “I should eat healthy.” To turn these into “musts,” make your health a red line. Instead of seeing exercise as a duty, consider it a fundamental and non-negotiable need for having a complete life. Tell yourself: “I am a healthy and energetic person, and I take care of my body every day.” This statement helps you remain committed to your health even in the hardest conditions.

Practical Action: Final Checklist

To implement all these concepts practically in your life, follow this final checklist. Right now, write down your three main “shoulds.” Then, using this checklist, turn them into “musts.”

Should #1: (For example: I should exercise.)

Must Statement: Instead of “I should exercise,” write: “I am a healthy and energetic person who takes care of their body every day.”
Practical Commitment: Exercise every day, even if it is just for ten minutes. This small commitment will not break your chain of habit.

Should #2: (For example: I should start my work.)

Must Statement: Instead of “I should start my work,” write: “I am a determined and hardworking person who tries to achieve their goals every day.”
Practical Commitment: Every day, work on the most important part of your project for only fifteen minutes.

Should #3: (For example: I should strengthen my relationships.)

Must Statement: Instead of “I should strengthen my relationships,” write: “I am a person with deep and valuable relationships, and I connect with my loved ones every week.”
Practical Commitment: Have at least one phone call or one short meeting with one of your friends or family members every week.

“Must” is a simple but revolutionary power. By implementing this checklist, you will not only get your work done, but you will also change your identity from a passive person to an active and unbeatable one. This power is in your hands, and with every decision you make to turn a “should” into a “must,” you get one step closer to an exceptional life.

Book Review:

The Roadmap to an Unbeatable Life

With the completion of the book’s chapters, it is now time to look back at the entire journey and provide a final summary of the core ideas. This book was written with the goal of transforming your mindset from an ordinary person to an unbeatable one. Together, we moved out of the endless cycle of “shoulds” and entered the powerful realm of “musts.”

In Chapter One, we addressed the question of why “shoulds” fail in our lives and concluded that they are merely conditional choices that surrender at the first sign of a challenge. We understood that to achieve great success, we must break free from this vicious cycle.

In Chapter Two, we were introduced to the concept of the “Awakening Moment.” This moment is the turning point where you face your true self and identify the three main “shoulds” in your life. This chapter served as the beginning of a deep and honest self-awareness.

Chapter Three was dedicated to “Mind Engineering.” In this chapter, we learned how to program our brains to accept “musts” and create a mental red line for our goals, using techniques like “public commitment” and the “reward and punishment system.”

In Chapter Four, we explored the power of repetition and habit formation. We learned that a “must” turns into an unbeatable force when it becomes a part of our identity. The “two-minute rule” and the “habit tracking card” were the tools that helped us on this journey.

Chapter Five addressed the biggest obstacle, which is “internal resistance.” We learned that the fear of failure and excuses are natural, but we must not allow them to derail us from our path. The main motto of this chapter was that failure is an event, not an identity.

Finally, in Chapter Six, we implemented all these concepts in practice across different aspects of life (career, relationships, health). Using a practical checklist, you learned how to turn your three main “shoulds” into powerful “musts.”

Conclusion

A “must” is not a choice, but a decision. This decision liberates you from an ordinary life full of “shoulds” and excuses and leads you toward an extraordinary life where your goals have become an inseparable part of your identity. This book has come to an end, but your journey has just begun. Now, it is your turn to take this power into your hands and write your own story of being unbeatable.