Why Are They Not Loyal Anymore? The Untold Secrets of Betrayal

Written by vahid Zekavati

Copyright: NLP Radio

Introduction:

Sometimes people do not leave— they just stop being the people they once were. They are still beside you, but their presence no longer feels warm. Their smile, their touch, their gaze—somehow, it no longer belongs to you. This book is for those moments when your heart feels something, but your mind is too afraid to accept it.

In Why Are They Not Loyal Anymore?, Vahid Zekavati, a writer shaped by raw life experiences, takes you on an inner and outer journey. A journey that begins with a simple doubt and ends in awakening. This book is not just instruction—it’s a mirror to see the truth hidden behind smiles, silences, and distant eyes.

The book is built around three deeply human questions, asked by millions in silence:

• Where does betrayal begin?
• What are the true signs of infidelity in women and men?
• What should I do if I suspect a betrayal?

Told in a heartfelt, story-driven style, and infused with psychological and intuitive insight, this book offers not just answers but emotional clarity. It is written for those who are not looking for excuses, but for the truth—no matter how painful.

📘 Chapter One: Where Does Betrayal Begin?

Betrayal never starts in bed. No one falls into someone else’s arms overnight. Betrayal usually begins when a relationship starts quietly losing its breath and no one seems to notice.

Sometimes a woman waits for days to hear “I love you” and never does. Sometimes a man stays silent for years, exhausted, with no one asking how he feels. Betrayal often starts with the absence of affection, not the presence of another.

It makes no noise. It shows up in long silences, in staring at the phone, in fewer shared laughs. The beginning of betrayal is more of a feeling than an act: a sense of being unvalued, unseen, unloved.

Many fear betrayal but never ask why it happens. They assume that the love that began the relationship will last forever. But love, if not fed, if not noticed, if not touched, will seek itself elsewhere.

Today, a simple message from an old classmate can change the course of a relationship. It may seem harmless, but in an emotionally empty bond, that message becomes a gateway to betrayal.

When your backs are turned to each other in bed and no one asks, “How are you?”, physical distance turns into emotional distance. That space is where betrayal quietly grows.

Often, there is no third person. Sometimes we ourselves drift away from our partners, unaware of the growing gap. When the roots dry up, the withering of the flower should not surprise us.

Many betrayals begin not from malice but from ignorance. Neither the woman meant to be disloyal, nor the man wanted to lie. But when unseen wounds pile up, even a stranger’s small kindness can feel more comforting than years of silence.

Not all betrayals are physical. Many are lived in thought before touch. Emotional affairs, mental fantasies, and virtual connections are more dangerous than ever.

If your partner talks more to their phone than to you, smiles more online than in real life—ask what part of you they’re distancing from. Betrayal is sometimes just the unclosed gap.

Love needs daily attention. Just like a plant dies without water, so does a relationship without care. In those cracks, betrayal enters—quietly and unnoticed.

Two once-in-love people may now just be roommates. No greetings in the morning, separate beds at night, days spent only for kids or work. That’s the perfect soil for betrayal to take root.

The most dangerous betrayal is the one that arrives quietly. No perfume, no texts. Just a cold feeling you cannot explain. You just know something has changed.

Some betrayals begin with sexual voids, others with emotional ones. But all cross one common path: not being seen. When someone feels invisible, they look for places they can be seen—even if it’s wrong.

If you sense a shift in your bond, seek connection before you seek betrayal. Sometimes all it takes is saying: “I miss you.”

Often, betrayal is a reaction, not a goal. The one who cheats may not have meant to, but something within pushed them there: loneliness, anger, neglect, or even depression.

Importantly, betrayal, though damaging, is not always a reflection of bad character. Even the best people may betray—not from evil, but from pain that went unhealed.

When we fall in love, we believe it’s forever. But love, like the body, needs care. This chapter is an invitation to see early signs that, if ignored, may lead to ruin.

Betrayal begins the moment we choose to ignore our feelings. When we know something’s missing and do nothing. It always starts with a choice: the choice to stay silent, indifferent, or dishonest.

Anyone can be vulnerable to betrayal. But what defines us is what we choose next. Through honesty, dialogue, and awareness, we may still find a way back before betrayal takes over.

This is just the beginning of the book—perhaps also the beginning of your relationship’s redemption. Before betrayal arrives, look, listen, and feel. There might still be something left from which love can be rebuilt.

📘 Chapter Two: The Hidden Faces of Infidelity in Women and Men
Not all infidelity is the same. Some come like a storm and destroy, some like silent drops, calmly and continuously sing the relationship. Sometimes they occur so softly and secretly that only a sixth sense can detect them.

Hidden infidelity is dangerous because the appearance of the relationship is still intact. People still live together, but their hearts move in two separate directions. The signs are there, but because they are not clear, they are denied.

In most cases, infidelity has a set of signs, not just one. These signs are like puzzle pieces that, when put together, reveal the true face of the relationship. But it takes courage to see it.

One of the common signs of infidelity is a sudden change in behavior. Someone who was once kind and patient suddenly becomes impatient, aggressive, or indifferent. This change is not without reason.

An increase or decrease in libido, without any medical cause, is a sign that should be taken seriously. Sometimes sexual infidelity stimulates the marital relationship, sometimes it dries it out completely.

Secrecy in cell phone use, changing passwords, deleting messages, or anxiety when receiving late-night calls can all be warning signs. Infidelity always begins with a lie.

If someone suddenly becomes more concerned with their appearance, wears a new perfume, exercises, or wears special clothes, their motivation may no longer be to be attractive to their partner. Motivation is the key.

Reduced conversation, unreasonable silences, and emotional distance are signs that cannot be ignored. A relationship that lacks communication is filled with misunderstandings and silent anger.

New daily routines, suspicious overtime, repeated lateness can be signs of a double life. Sometimes the second life is not just another person, but a hidden world.

Changing spending patterns, suspicious purchases, or money that is not traced are classic signs of infidelity. Infidelity does not always take away feelings, sometimes it also empties the bank account.

When someone overly emphasizes their privacy, locks the door, does not take away their phone, and reacts negatively to simple questions, you should know that they are hiding something.

Sudden affection, inappropriate gifts, or gratuitous kindness sometimes arise not from love, but from a sense of guilt. Infidelity sometimes manifests itself in strange compensations.

In women, infidelity often begins with emotional coldness. They no longer listen, they don’t ask, their touch is cold, and their kisses are meaningless. This coldness is the silent language of infidelity.

If a woman talks a lot about casual friendships, but her words are contradictory, you should be careful. Most emotional infidelity in women begins with these casual friendships.

An increased interest in solitude, friendly trips, or separation from the common family space can be a sign of the need to distance yourself. This distance may be the basis for infidelity.

A sudden change in clothing style or makeup, if it occurs for no apparent reason, can be a sign of an attempt to be attractive to another person. Appearance is the silent language of the inside.

Avoiding eye contact, a reluctance to touch, or avoiding simple affections is indicative of a coldness that may have a deeper origin than simple fatigue. Infidelity often begins with unseen touches.

In men, nighttime activity on social media or secret calls is a sign of a parallel emotional life. Infidelity sometimes occurs in the same bedroom where you are sleeping.

Forgetting about occasions, ignoring your spouse, and suddenly ceasing affection that used to be normal are alarm bells that should not be ignored. A lover who is more in love never forgets.

Some men suddenly become talkative, others more silent than ever. These sudden behavioral changes can be caused by mental pressure or internal secrecy. Infidelity occupies the mind.

Small lies, the ones that are “not important,” are often the introduction to bigger betrayals. When small lies are tolerated, bigger lies dare to emerge.

Sometimes a cheating man tries to hide his guilt with irrelevant gifts. Or he smiles after suspicious gossip. But his gaze says what his lips deny.

Ultimately, cheating never stays hidden forever. Its signs, like yellow autumn leaves, fall one by one and settle on the floor of your relationship. You just have to keep your eyes open.

📘 Chapter Three: What to Do When You Suspect?
Suspicion is like smoke. Not so obvious that it can be touched, not so hidden that it can be ignored. If not taken seriously, it fills the entire house of the relationship and causes suffocation, even if there is no fire.

You feel that something is not right. The looks are different, the touches have become cold, the voices are not the same as before. You may not have proof yet, but your heart is whispering something that you cannot deny.

The first mistake is to become an investigator or private detective. A relationship is not a prison and you are not the interrogator. But this does not mean that you should remain silent. You should be aware, not suspicious, you should observe carefully, not with fear.

In many cases, the signs that are perceived as infidelity have their roots in other issues: depression, work pressure, mental fatigue, or even personal crises. Infidelity is not always the culprit.

If you just see the signs and jump to conclusions, you are walking into a trap of your own making. Doubt, if left unchecked, is like a worm that crawls through your mind and eats away at your peace of mind, without ever discovering the truth.

One of the signs of psychological maturity is the ability to communicate honestly without blaming. Saying things like, “I’ve been away from you lately” or “I don’t miss you” takes courage, but it opens the way.

In moments like these, your tone is more important than anything else. If you scare, you’re just building a wall. If you understand, the truth may come out. Speak, but not with judgment. Listen, even if it’s hard to hear.

If your spouse denies it but still acts suspiciously, it’s time to consider outside help. A family counselor can provide a space for the truth to come out, without fighting.

Remember, betrayal is not just an act that one person does. It is often the joint product of two wounded people. Maybe your neglect, maybe your silence, maybe a fatigue that you never talked about.

If you feel broken inside, give your soul time before making any decisions. Decisions made in anger or revenge only deepen the wound. You have to wait, breathe, see.

If the betrayal is confirmed, you have several options: forgive, let go, or rebuild. But none of them are easy. All three paths require time, courage, and a deep understanding of yourself. Don’t be afraid, you are stronger than you think.

Forgiveness is not just for the other person. Sometimes it is for yourself. Maybe you need to forgive, but not stay. Or maybe you stay, but start from scratch again. There is no ready-made plan for these decisions.

The most important principle is that no one should stay in a relationship where honesty, security, and respect are gone. Without these three elements, love is just dependency. And dependency is the silent killer of the soul.

If you decide to stay, both parties must be willing to change. Betrayal cannot be hidden by denial. It must be opened, told, and the pain must be felt so that something can be rebuilt.

If you decide to leave, give yourself time. You don’t need to build a new life right away. You may need to be alone for a while. You may need to look in the mirror again and say: I am still worth it.

In either case, it’s better not to be alone. The help of a psychologist, a caring friend, or even a support group can help you break through the cycle of denial, anger, sadness, and regret. Breaking through is the only way out.

Ask yourself: Am I my true self in this relationship? Do I feel safe? Can I trust again? These questions are not easy, but they illuminate the path. Truth always begins with seeing.

Every doubt is an opportunity to see, to hear, to touch, and to decide. If you look right, even doubt can be a beacon, not just a heavy shadow. You have to change your perspective.

And most importantly, no event is the final definition of you. Betrayal is not you. Your reaction to it defines you. Even betrayal can come out stronger if you choose to grow.

Ultimately, this chapter is not about the end, but about the turning point. A place where you can be true to yourself, make a decision, and if necessary, forge a new path. You are the most important chapter in this book.

Conclusion:

No one enters a relationship with the desire to betray. People come together for companionship, for safety, for love. But between wanting and staying lies a valley filled with pain, neglect, limitations, and human error.

Infidelity is not just a mistake; it is a signal that someone has become lost from themselves. A man or woman who cheats is often searching—perhaps for recognition, connection, to feel heard, or simply an escape from unspoken pain.

But this search must not come at the cost of destroying another. No need, no emptiness, ever justifies betrayal. We are responsible for our feelings and our choices, even when we are wounded, even when we are lonely.

This book was written to open eyes, not to tear relationships apart. If you saw yourself or your partner in these pages, do not judge the reflection—gather the courage to speak, to decide, or to rebuild.

Doubt is the beginning of sight. Awareness is the beginning of choice. And choice is the beginning of change. If someone betrayed you, you still have every right to reclaim your dignity, to love yourself again, and to create a future worthy of you.

And if you are the one who betrayed, it is not the end—if you are willing to own your choices, speak the truth, and walk the road of repair or release like a human being, not through deception.

Relationships, while they are sources of love, can become silent battlegrounds if truth and dialogue are lost. Infidelity always begins where “truth” no longer feels safe.

So if this book stirred something in your heart, know that even this awareness is the most liberating place to begin. Love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship—honesty, courage, listening, and constant connection are what keep it alive.

Maybe right now, you stand at the edge of a decision: to stay or leave, to forgive or walk away, to speak or stay silent. Whatever path you choose, just remember one thing—you must still be able to love yourself on that path.

In the end, infidelity is not just a pain—it is an invitation to see what was hidden. To see yourself, to see the other, and maybe to find a way to forgive, to grow, and to fall in love again, even if not with the same person—but with life itself.